courtney in control 2

Gratitude List

2008-12-05T16:27:00.000-06:00

I am grateful for:
David- he makes me happier than I have ever been; he helps me to be a better person- the best person I can be
My “kids”- the kitties- who love me unconditionally & are always happy to see me
My family- momma, daddy, & brother- who also love me unconditionally
My job- including my boss & co-workers
That I was able to pay my bills & rent this month- although my bills may seem overwhelming at time I have never lost anything of “value”
For food to eat
For my friends and my blogger sisters (they are wonderful people who I am lucky to have met) - for being there for me, caring & loving me, and allowing me to be myself
For my apartment
The ability to achieve and accomplish goals that I have set for myself
The ability to set goals for myself and remember what is important to me
The freedoms that I take for granted- to look, be, act, & speak as I feel
To grow and to become a better person
The chance to travel
Books- they allow me to “get away” & also to learn
Turning my mistakes into learning experiences
Having the ability to correct my mistakes and learn that I deserve to be happy- and to actually be happy
The time that I get to spend with David- especially when I wake up in the mornings and he is there
The ability to love, laugh, dream, breathe, cry, share, feel, see, hear, taste, smell, feel, give, hope, think, and believe
The ability to give back and to help others
All of my needs are met
The fact that if I don’t like it I have the power to change it
Blogs
The fact that gratitude and anger, unhappiness, sadness, and/or depression cannot inhabit the same emotional space at the same time; being grateful takes me away from the negative and puts me in the positive
Everything in my life- I am very lucky and have much to be grateful for
Simply put, being alive and living life

More Vegas Pics

2008-10-22T14:20:00.009-06:00

our room & bathroom:

The Venetian (there are all inside pictures!):

"Random" Vegas pictures:

I don't know if this will work or not but if you're interested in the 130+ pictures I took maybe you can find them here.

Corpus Pictures

2008-09-09T13:12:00.011-06:00

DC's house on Padre Island:

the view from the deck outside his bedroom:

Corpus:

this is the Nina- from the Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria... very cool!!

Texas Flag

2006-11-11T14:31:00.000-06:00

pictures of my work in progress...

Gotta Love a Typewriter

2006-11-11T14:29:00.000-06:00

here is what i get to use at work... my swintec 7000.... i'm sure at one time it was high-tech but it drives me crazy....

100 list

2006-11-10T12:47:00.001-06:00

100 Things About Me (still working on it!)

1. I am indecisive.
2. I hate shopping.
3. I love blogging and reading others blogs- it makes me feel so much more normal, I’m not the only one who thinks these thoughts.
4. I have only lived in one city in my entire life.
5. I hate my Swintec 7000. I still use a typewriter at work… I don’t hate it as much as I used to though.
6. I am a Gemini.
7. I have my Bachelor’s Degree in Business Management.
8. I was married June 14, 2003. (Flag day)
9. I see a psychiatrist on a regular basis.
10. I LOVE cats. (this could border on being obsessed… )
11. I have many mental disorders.
12. I hated high school. It was so horrible.
13. It seems I become more anti-social the older I get.
14. MySpace makes me uncomfortable- i'm not totally sure what it is- all I know is that my anxiety flares up bad!!
15. I love to craft!
16. I am not comfortable in my own skin.
17. Sleeping is one of my most favorite things to do.
18. I had LASIK done in August 2004 and love it.
19. I am SO addicted to food, among many other things!
20. I am extremely emotional and sensitive.
21. I am undecided about having kids or not.
22. I am not a girly-girl.
23. I don’t like shoes. My preference is to be bare foot.
24. I love to read.
25. I would love to be able to work from home.
26. I can’t stand it when people try to push their beliefs off onto me (especially religion).
27. I can’t stand it when people try to tell me what to do (how to live my life). 2
8. I love my kitties as if they were my own children. The only difference, I didn’t actually give birth to them.
29. I am extremely obsessive about my eyebrows being plucked. I pluck them at least twice a day.
30. I prefer to live in my “selective- reality” and I am very anti-social.
31. I do not agree with hunting but it’s something I am forced to deal with on a daily basis due to all of my co-workers.
32. I hate that it is easier (and that i make the choice) to take a pill to “deal” with something than to actually deal with it (or that taking a pill makes it all better).
33. I used to have an excellent memory.
34. I claim no political party.
36. My favorite color is black.
37. I love a good hard massage!
38. I love yoga
39. I am learning to meditate.
40. I am exploring different types of religions.
41. I wish I had more self-confidence.
42. I am not sure what my stand on the death penalty is. Texas is all about the death penalty though.
43. I am pro-choice! It is my body (or your body)- DO NOT tell me what decision I need to make!
44. I have BAD anxiety.
45. I am way obsessive compulsive & anal.
46. I start and stop smoking because I get bored. (I know, nice!)
47. I love to craft!
48. Peanut butter m&m’s are my favorite candy of all time!
49. I wish I was quick with “come-backs” or retorts.
50. I used to be a big partier- I can’t do it (nor do I enjoy it) now that I’m older.
51. I prefer being at home as opposed to out at a bar (or pretty much anywhere). (think hermit!)
52. I am extremely lazy. (I used to not be lazy.)
53. I have a tendency to look on the negative side but I am working on changing that.
54. I love positive thoughts, quotes, and emails. They always seem to come at the right time.
55. I don’t believe in the judgmental Father figure of God anymore. Why would God judge us?
56. I am very wishy-washy when it comes to doing stuff. I will probably tell you yes, I’ll go and then flake out at the last minute.
57. I am a chapstick and lotion addict.
58. My dream is to one day have a “kitty haven” where all abandoned kitties can come and find love, shelter, and food.
59. I love getting comments on my blog!!
60. I am obsessed with teeth. (Mom is a dental hygientist.)
61. I consider myself very shy. (Could be because of my self-esteem issues.)
62. I am a perfectionist.
63. I love the library.
64. It is my goal to replace everything on this list that is negative with a positive statement.
65. I have been more honest in my blog than I have ever been with myself before.
66. I am still afraid of letting people get too close to me emotionally. I am scared I’ll get hurt.
67. I do not like to cook at all.
68. I love to bake though.
69. I drink about 80 oz. of water a day at work.
70. My most favorite drink is unsweetened decaf ice tea.
71. I try really hard not to judge someone, especially until I’ve walked a mile in their shoes. I have really been working on trying not to judge people though.
72. The repeat button on your cd player was made for me.
73. I am very directionally challenged.
74. I will not tolerate animal cruelty- I think the same thing should be done to the person that they did to the animal.
75. I want to retire early.
76. I love to laugh but “don’t allow” myself to seem to enjoy life as much as I used too (or laugh as much either).
77. Feeling guilty and carrying it around (forever!) is not a problem for me.
78. I can't stand it when people ask you when you're going to have kids. Like it is a rule written in stone that if you're married you will have kids.
79. Coming up with 100 things about yourself is hard to do!!
80. I am proud to be from Texas but I hate the heat.
81. I like to bundle up and love snow.
82. I consider myself a little "country"... maybe even kinda red-neckish (not horribly bad though!!)
83. I love a heavy southern accent. (the slow southern drawl)

MeMe

2006-11-10T11:11:00.000-06:00

This is my meme list....

Four jobs I've had in my life:
1. Counter Girl @ Comet Cleaners
2. Cook Help 1
3. Call Center Representitive
4. Bookkeeper/Payroll/HR/Secretary

Four jobs I wish I had:
1. Running a "kitty haven"
2. Doctor (that was my goal when i was growing up- i was pre-med in college for a while)
3. Stay at home "mom"
4. Massage therapist

Four movies I can watch over and over again:
1. Dazed & Confused
2. Casino
3. Four Rooms
4. Pretty much any Quentin Tarantino movie

Four cities I've lived in:
1. Wichita Falls, TX (the only one)
2.
3.
4.

Four tv shows I love to watch:
1. CSI: Miami
2. Sopranos
3.
4.

Four places I've traveled to:
1. Negril, Jamaica
2. Cancun, Mexico
3. Chicago, IL
4. Zuni, NM

Four websites I visit daily:
1. all of my daily reads
2. msn.com
3. TX DOT (to order permits for work)
4. google.com

Four of my favorite foods:
1. peanut butter m&m's
2. cheeseburgers
3. french fries
4. frisco burger

Four things I won't eat:
1. any of my food that is "touching"- no mixing of food- if it wasn't made together i don't eat it together... that's my motto
2. olives
3. pimentos
4. spinach

Four things I wish I could eat right now:
1. peanut butter m&m's
2. McDonald's
3. donuts
4. ice cream

Four things in my bedroom:
1. a tv
2. king size bed (i love it!!)
3. nightstands/tables
4. dresser

Four things I wish I had in my bedroom:
1. more room
2. attached master bath
3. bigger tv
4. ummm.... i really dunno...

Four things I am wearing right now:
1. Old Navy t-shirt
2. jeans
3. socks
4. tennis shoes

One place I would rather be right now:
At home!!!

One fictional place I would rather be right now:
Alice in Wonderland's Wonderland

Four people I would love to have dinner with:
1. Jay-Z (self-made mogul)
2. Carl Edwards (NASCAR)
3.
4.

Four things I am thinking right now:
1. I'm not very good at this list.
2. I am hungry.
3. I wish it was 5:00!
4. What are the kitties doing?

Four favorite things to do:
1. Blog
2. Read blogs.
3. Sleep
4. Yoga

Murphy pics

2006-11-09T09:29:00.000-06:00

Mazzy pics

2006-11-09T09:17:00.001-06:00

Going Through The Opening

2006-11-07T11:36:00.000-06:00

Sometimes our lives contract before they expand. We may be working hard on ourselves spiritually, doing good in the world, following our dreams, and wondering why we are still facing constrictions of all kinds-financial, emotional, physical. Perhaps we even feel as if we've lost our spirituality and are stuck in a dark room with no windows. We may be confused and discouraged by what appears to be a lack of progress. But sometimes this is the way things work. Like a caterpillar that confines itself to a tiny cocoon before it grows wings and flies, we are experiencing the darkness before the dawn. When things feel tight, it's easy to panic or want to act in some way to ease the feeling of constriction. We might also spin our wheels mentally, trying to understand why things are the way they are. However, there is nothing we need to do at this time other than to be patient and persevering. We can cling to the awareness that we are processing the shift from one stage to another, and the more we surrender to the experience, the more quickly we will move through the tightness into the opening on the other side. We may feel squeezed and pushed and very uncomfortable, but if we remember that we are on our way to being born into a new reality, we will find the strength to carry on. Even as we endure the contractions, we can find peace within ourselves if we remember to trust the universe. We can look to the natural world for inspiration as we see that all beings surrender to the process of being born. In that surrender, and in the center of our own hearts, is a willingness to trust in the unknown as we make our way through the opening.

New Blog

2006-11-07T11:03:00.000-06:00

here is my new blog... since i'm still blogging challenged i decided just to set up a new blog where i can post my lists and anything really long, like the emails i love to post.. just another place where you can find out more about me...